Chose to DARE, Willing to FALL and RISE again

I am 12yrs old, standing outside my house, watching a far off road circling a hillside. This hillside is surrounded by a mighty lake. In my view, if ever a vehicle slips off the road it would fall into the lake. This road had steep slopes, blind twists and turns to curl around the hills. The traffic on this road was normal, of two wheelers and trucks. My mother had warned me to never try that route. It always fascinated me to ride my bicycle through the slopes and experience the wind while watching the lake beside. 

It was 3pm, everyone at home was taking a nap post lunch and I took off on my bicycle. I CHOSE to DARE, and I reached the main road, a right turn, would lead me to the lake. A truck was approaching from the opposite direction. I let it go. And I turned right. It was a slope so was fun riding till a turn came, I saw a bike approaching from the other side, the speed of my bicycle was high for me to control and turn. I slipped and skid into the dry bushes on the hillside. I got bruises on my elbows and knees. Thankfully I did not break my bones. I said to myself, "I should not have tried, I have hurt myself". I slowly got up. Patted dust off my dress, and wood stings on my skin. I looked at the road ahead and said "shall I ride and see the lake view or go back home". Going back was not motivating me. I went ahead riding slowly, facing my fears at every inch closer to reach the turn circling the hill that I usually watched from my house. I stopped to look at the other side to see my house far off. And that was the winning moment. I could see the huge body of the lake spread around the road, water shining, calm, and deep. I could spot a few lotuses. I could see that there was a few feet of distance between the road and the lake, so not so dangerous to ride as I assumed. The pain in my body eased. I rode and reached the corner of the lake where some people where fishing. It was a beautiful sight to watch the lake and my house far off, a small miniature sized. I took a deep breath, looked around for other vehicles. Then turned my bicycle to slowly ride back home, enjoying the sun shining and wind breezing through my ears. 

I CHOSE  to dare, to venture into the unknown, facing my fears. Falling, hurting my self, then getting up, brushing the dust aside to continue to see victory. That day I learnt to conquer my fears. This has since been a pattern in my life. 

I joined engineering against my love for medicine. I joined a boarding school in a new city, embracing new culture and language. I married a man from a different geography and tribe. I ventured into a business I know nothing about.

I failed in my final year Engineering. In the boarding school I lost my top rank. I failed in my marriage and I miserably failed in my business.

Inspite of the failures I managed to work for a decade in a dream corporate job, IT profile. I survived 15 years of marriage to continue to live with my husband and three beautiful children. And become a successful Self-Published Author and Thought Leader. 

I ALWAYS CHOSE TO DARE, WILLING TO FALL AND TO RISE AGAIN TO SEE THE LIGHT. 

SUN SHINNING BRIGHT... IN MY EYES AND EXPERIENCE THE WIND BREEZING THROUGH MY EARS... 

LIKE A 12 YR OLD GIRL WINNING OVER HER FEARS

God's Secret Agent

Today morning I saw this post in one of my WhatsApp groups.

The activities human beings are confined to are eating, sleeping, mating, self defence (protecting). In what ways do we differ from the animals. 

There is no one who is interested in SELF REALISATION.

The opportunity of being a human, is to get present to the design of a human being and leading to becoming aware of the purpose of being a human being.

This reminded me of a conversation I had with my 8yr old son recently during our lockdown days. We were lying on the bed trying to sleep, it was almost midnight. My son popped a question, his usual habit, curiosity at its best when it’s time to catch sleep. “Mom why I am born, why I came to earth?” He could not complete the question he stopped, he was emotional, in a trembling voice, he continued clearing his throat. “If I had to die eventually then why did I ever come here?” My instant reaction, “Ohh!! He is such a cutie pie,” I said to myself. I could sense the fear of death and separation from the loved ones in his question. But most importantly why this question, he was curious why is he here for. I smiled as if I knew the answer. I said “ its a good question, and I am glad you are curious about this at a very early stage of life”. We continued the conversation. “So are you interested to know why are you here.” He was excited, attentive, staring at me. I said “you are God’s Secret Agent and you are here for a unique mission. HE has sent you here”. Suddenly the avenger inside him awakened. He replied “I am a secret agent, really Mom”. I said “yes absolutely”. He could not wait immediately asked “what’s my mission”. I said “you need to figure it out. I am clear you are here for a purpose, but what is that you have to discover. God will lead you through but you have to find it. Each one of us are here for a reason”. His next question why are you here Mom? What’s your mission?

I sighed and said “I am 40 and I am yet to figure it out”. In that moment I thought I demotivated him, considering the whole hype I created around his curiosity. I made it sound a difficult thing to do, then I said “I am working on it. It will be something that I love to do, something I would like to leave for the next generation. Let’s talk about what you would like to be or do that is an amazing idea for you”. He kept thinking, and we continued the conversation. He was looking at what I love to do, he pointed out cleaning, cooking or WhatsApping. I suggested “you could be a great father, isn’t that exciting”, he smiled “or may be an astronaut who explores the solar system. You could be a doctor like your father, or an engineer like me, an athlete or footballer.” There are so many options to choose. Then I made a point, to him, “whatever you choose, you can be the best at it, that’s why I said it’s a unique secret mission.”

I was not just amazed by the question, but moved by the impact, how much it matters to be alive and kicking. I was happy about the curiosity he has about the goals in his life. It reminded me of my childhood definition of success I derived from the environment to setup my goals in life. My goals were very simple, a mobile, a laptop, a car and a house and life is a done deal. I achieved all of it in my early 30s. What next now, handover these material goals to your children and mentor, monitor them, they get it too. Or there is something more to my life. This question made me do many courses with Landmark Education. To figure it out why I am here for, what difference do I make in this world. Add few numbers to the world population and die one day. 

The conversation to dwell in finding the purpose of one’s life, is crazily engaging and it is a tough nut to crack. It’s easier to set up goals for the next five years or for Life. The conversation for self realisation is not for those who are worried about their bread and butter on a daily basis, but it’s for those who can make a difference to these millions of people who deal with hunger, hygiene, shelter, safety everyday.

I created a curriculum for Self-Awareness and Life-Skills Training Programs for young people, and kept it in the shelf considering there is no one interested in these conversations of self-discovery and self-belief in children. A typical journey of a human being is a race to become better. When you are a child you want to grow up to be more powerful and experience freedom. As teenagers you strive to be smarter, topper, date or mate the hottest and most desirable. As an adult you struggle to get into the best university, to get a top job, and a worthy spouse. In your middle age you work hard to create wealth and a comfortable living. A better car, a bigger house, bank balance. In old age, you strive to have good health and good times with family. And then you wait to die. 

Where do I live and eventually exist, in chasing these goals, in my bank account, or materials I own, or my mobile phone or social media accounts or in my body, or mind. YOU exist in your PURPOSE. 

My 10 years old daughter once asked me why do we celebrate Mahatma Gandhi's birthday when he is not there any more. I told her, "he did great things for humanity. We celebrate his life. When you do great things your birthdays will also be celebrated even when you are not there."

Now did I inspire her to be a LEADER or follow the Leader. The values and principles to be used to make a better life. I looked at what was expected out of me as a child. Get good grades, get a nice job, get married and have babies. No one expected me to be a Leader to do great things. 

Mr Robin Sharma says, only 5% of the population strive to become LEGENDS. The rest of the population either struggle for survival daily or race for a better and bigger life. Surprisingly each one of us is capable of becoming a GENIUS.

It takes COURAGE to look into your own design of being a human. It takes courage to TRANSFORM the ordinary being of self-indulgences, eating, sleeping, mating and self defence (protecting) patterns into EXTRAORDINARY self expression, as contribution to the planet, service to mankind, freedom and peace for humanity.

Acknowledgements for Team Management and Leadership Program offered Globally

Team Management and Leadership Program Sep 2017 – May 2020

I have spent almost three years in this course, being part of Team Chennai. I can clearly see that I am not the same person who walked in for Mumbai weekend as Team 1 New View. I am grateful that Classroom Leader KK didn’t give up on me and enrolled me for this course. I joined this program with the intention to expand the business by effectively managing team and team work for success.

I caught up with the Team Members on Friday evening dinner post T1 new view orientation. All members were new faces, who’s who conversations were initiated. Saturday afternoon 12pm the intention of the new quarter conversation was created and new view T1s were invited to share. I raised my hand sitting at the back of the room with 350 odd participants from all over India. The Weekend Leader picked me to come upfront and share. I walked up to the stage to face a huge audience that could make me nervous, but I created what I got from the intention of quarter. I walked back slowly, as I was about to reach my seat when the Global Leader called me from the other side of the room to come back to the mike on stage. I eventually walked back to the stage. It took a minute for me to reach the mike again, and when I looked at the audience, each one in the room was now listening intentionally, eyes and ears open to hear me. The Global Leader said, “could you please recreate what you shared just now”. I confidently and clearly recreated what I got from the intention of the quarter. And when I completed speaking the Global Leader said “you got what is TMLP" she wondered how as a new view I could speculate on the intention of the quarter statement to create TMLP. I was surprised to hear that and wondered what I will do in the next two years in the course when I got the program at the very first conversation of the weekend.

The rest of my journey has been historic with many shockers and bouncers like these. Starting from accountabilities as debut Head Coach to Team 2 Team Leader locked down. I throughly enjoyed the opportunities to be coached by T2s Liggy, Amrith, Saravanan, Shankarlal, to be mentored by Course Leaders Vivek, Hari, Manthan, to be loved by Classroom Leaders KK, Hemant and to be demanded by Jagdeesh the Program Manager. 

Nevertheless mention my partnership with my buddies and coachees, Team Chennai, Team India and Global Games Teams. 

I acknowledge EVERYONE associated with this course, Leadership body to the Assisting Team to have contributed to me in a MILLION ways. 

LOVE and GRATITUDE for all TMLP participants and GLOBAL LEADERS worldwide. 

Ranjini Sanjay signing off as T2 complete. 

Essence of Communication is Intention

It’s dinner time and as usual my daughter and son are at the table, having dinner and getting into conversations which are the most crucial to be resolved at this time. They discuss world news, historic inventions, discoveries, facts and concerns. Focus moves from enjoying the food to proving a point.

In a moment, my patience breaks and the Bhadrakali (Goddess Devi) inside me comes out to perform. I would start shouting at them, to finish their meals and get off the table. I will throw all the toys, items spread on the floor into the basket, chanting the automatic recurring dialogues. This is not new for my kids, even the younger toddler is now tuned to these conditions. In my peak performance pressure I will usually throw them out of the house with their toys. But thanks to the current pandemic conditions my kids are relieved that I will not do so.

We go to bed as usual, story telling is complete. I would end up blaming myself for not being cool, with the kids, screwing up everybody’s happiness. My kids will move on, its business as usual it happens often. Next day morning I see this note written by Trisha on the fridge. In a second a smile breaks on my face and the stress I had about last night disappears.

My daughter recreated my communication yesterday and acknowledged me for who I am. Her communication through this note resolved and disappeared my concerns. 

This is the MAGIC of communication in the new paradigm, in the domain of integrity, responsibility and generosity.

Most of the times we are triggered by images, WhatsApp messages, views, expressions and we react. Failure to recreate communication, is a reaction. When we react, our communication is in the old paradigm ie morality domain. 

Experiencing stress, pressure, anger or anxiety. We also have barriers to communicate. Which stops us to express our views, feelings. It’s human to have BARRIERS and TRIGGERS in communication. 

As communication curriculum graduates we are trained to distinguish these barriers and triggers. And effectively deliver the intention of communication which is given by our commitment in the relationship. 

Essence of Communication is Intention. 

My daughter delivered her intention through that note, that she loves me no matter what I am. 

Power and MAGIC of communication is available for everyone to experience, by practicing recreation, find your trigger and barrier, and go beyond to deliver intention. 

Restoring Love and Affinity in any situation, for all relationships, that are important for you. 

https://www.amazon.com/author/ranjinisanjay

https://www.landmarkworldwide.com/advanced-programs/communication-programs

Find the GENIUS in you

Human beings are trapped in their point of view, or a view of life. And most of us take it to our grave, never ever able to discover it.

How to distinguish and get out of this trap? The answer to this is available, firstly when you are willing to consider there is a trap. Secondly if you are interested in distinguishing how it has shaped your life, results, choices and relationships.

These traps are given by our inability to recreate communication or life statements we give to ourselves at our very early stages of life. They are self made and until death our lives dwell inside or around these statements, making a trap. 

We have many ways to figure this out, transformative learning, a process of self-discovery. 

Landmark Education provides curriculum for living. This is one of the access, I have used, for building my abilities to distinguish and discover myself. 

In Team Management and Leadership Program for two years I have worked extensively on my abilities to communicate effectively and create new realities which were technically impossible for me. 

I joined this course with an intention to expand my business. In the first year I eventually did expand the business, but I messed up the finances, creating a loss, which finally led to closure of my franchisee business of schools. By the end of my first year I created my Business Consulting Enterprise for setting up schools, services for training and development, and a new baby. 

The New Baby commitment pushed me to work from home, mostly doing nothing with respect to business development. I tried to quit the course twice in the second year. But for the love of my team members, I continued to complete the course powerfully this month. 

My journey of self-discovery and transformation begins with Landmark Forum, in 2014, as Software Engineer and mother of two children, I was a pretty settled soul, perfect family and workplace. But I was curious about the purpose of my life. 

After Forum, I quit my corporate job to start my first school, I pursued my passion for education. Since then having done many courses with Landmark, past 6 years I have played many games in life, starting from engendering a road trip from Chennai to Himalayas, to creating a Web Series. I have been, Edupreneur, Public Speaker, Coach, Singer, Blogger, Cyclist and a self-published Author. 

I have loosened my trap of a perfectionist, independent and caring person to be a Leader in Life, unfettered by people or circumstances around me.

Life is unpredictable, yet a unique opportunity to get the best of you.

Game in the World technology of Team Management and Leadership Program gives you the access to find the GENIUS in you. It will allow you to create possibilities that defy the logical mind. Fear of Failure will make you give up everyday. Winning this game, is given by converting your pain into Power and resentment into Fulfillment. Managing the integrity of your participation will make you the MASTER creator of your life.

Take the road to self-discovery and transformation to find the GENIUS in you. 

Register for the upcoming Landmark Forum in your city to get a new sense of freedom, and power, that allows full self expression and peace of mind.

 

https://www.amazon.com/author/ranjinisanjay

www.landmarkworldwide.com 

Addiction to Knowledge

After doing so many courses with Landmark are we addicted to some more coaching?

Look around, the TRANSFORMATION you willing to achieve, or experience in your environment, people in your life, is available only if it's available within YOU.

We are NOT here to CHANGE anything or anyone.

Each one of us is a PERFECT human being. Only our life is UNPREDICTABLE.

So what do we do? We are here to empower each other, creating a CONTEXT given by OUR commitment and intention to participate in life, such that the world works for everyone.

The POINT is, the experience you have or you create as who you are, can ONLY be created outside you, in your home, in your neighbourhood.

TECHNICALLY you need to work on yourself (transform your listening and speaking) rather fixing or coaching people and things around you. 

In my ordinary days of lockdown, doing ordinary work, cleaning, washing, cooking, trying new recipes, managing kids, watching movies. When I scold my children my son responds "I can also shout at you and throw tantrums but I choose not to." My husband who loves to kill his time eating and sleeping at home, chooses to be at the hospital to support his team and patients with no clear date to return home. 

I am creating EXTRAORDINARY humanity around me.

WHAT ARE YOU CREATING? PEACE OR PANIC, FUN OR FEAR.

The FUTURE we are living into we create and experience NOW. 

WE ARE AT THE SOURCE OF IT.

Every Child is UNIQUE

ANJANA reminds me of my childhood. How I was always driven by the motivation to make my parents feel PROUD of me. 

My parents are my IDEALS. They are the obedient and perfect kids. In their childhood they achieved the most with the least resources. They are always driven by the BURDEN and PRIVILEGE of giving back to their people and doing good, the right things. In their words maintain their IMAGE (in the name of duty, getting appreciation, acceptance in the society or greatness). No doubt they are successful people. My father being the first generation of Electrical Engineers, and my mother being one of the few women science post graduates of their times (1960-70s). 

Very extraordinary, talented, responsible, cultured and intellectual people who never compromised their values, principles and ethics. 

My mission as a child was to achieve this level of greatness, seeing my parents happy, and proud in everyway. Do only the right things, never do a mistake or fail. Strive to be THE PERFECT KID. 

My Uncles and Aunts, would compare me with their children. Ironically that made my cousins never like me, so did my younger brother, my friends in school and my peers in neighbourhood. My brother always felt our parents loved me more as I was always APPRECIATED. 

With my brother things were different, he was a energetic, curious and active kid, who will never follow instructions. My mother was always challenged to deal with him. She will pamper him, give him more attention but that will not satisfy him, as there was always a comparison that daughter is good (she follows instructions, fulfilling the expectations) and son is not good enough. 

The expectations of a perfect parent for a perfect kid (me) kept increasing as time passed, so did the challenges of bringing up a brat (my brother). 

The gap continued to build between me and my brother. Eventually I became a LONELY child, yet very effective in maintaining a IMAGE of the good, OBEDIENT kid.

Until one day I joined a boarding school. Thats where as a teenager I begin to DISCOVER myself, I started to make my choices, allowed my reasoning and intellect to support my actions. 

Away from home, the parents influence faded, being independent and being own your own came up, but pressure of maintaining the image continued. 

My parents worked hard to bring both kids up, with the BEST of cultural values, ethics, comfort, living conditions, education and money they could provide. 

I always hear my mom speaking in you KANMANI, I see my experience in your daughter ANJANA. Joyfully carrying the burden and privilege of fulfilling parents expectations with a smile on her face. And you are a dedicated and focused parent working hard to deliver the best, with the available resources and create the perfect kid. 

A FUTURE you are living into is given by your PAST.  

You are creating a BETTER version of Kanmani rather nurturing the UNIQUE Anjana. 

As a parent we want to give the best to our kids, better than what our parents did for us. This builds our expectations, and demand on kids to perform. A child lives up to the demand and expectations until he/she create his/her own PERSPECTIVE of life. 

As a GROWN UP I disappointed my parents with the choices I made (I stopped following their instructions almost always).

And so did my brother, he was a disappointment for my parents since childhood, only saving grace was that he is a boy. INDIAN parents are PROUD to have a SON, no matter what he achieves or qualities he possess.

I DO NOT MAINTAIN THE IMAGE of perfection any more. It took me some years (two decades) to realise that at any point of time I cannot be a perfect daughter, wife, daughter in law, sister or mother. Every day I choose between a daughter or wife, a sister or daughter in law, a mother or a professional.

My brother is also equally challenged, no matter what amount of money he makes he cannot hit the balance between fulfilling the expectations of people around him. 

If we are striving for perfection, acknowledgment or appreciation we will surely die unfulfilled, drained. We are actually chasing a perfect GHOST and the race to satisfy everyone at the same time is technically Not Achievable. We will exhaust ourself pulling off these multiple ROLES.

LIVE your life fully, be the BEST version of YOU. Rather being a BETTER version of SOMEONE else.

Embrace and celebrate the unique KANMANI to allow ANJANA discover and unfold the special soul she is. 

You are a GIFT to your family and environment. Cherish and nurture the LOVE.

Converting a NO to a YES

My 8yr old son registered to the Landmark Forum for Young People January 17-19, 2020, held in Bangalore.

I was looking forward to his participation since he turned 8 in Sept 2019. To my surprise he said NO to Landmark Forum.

NEXT part of this post is my journey of converting his NO to a YES to the possibilities HE discovered for his life.

I considered myself a demonstration of the distinctions and a powerful leader of Landmark Education.

But here I am unable to enrol my son for the program. The possibilities I see for him does not inspire him. I m trying to fix him, make him wrong saying this is good for you. 

I give up my point of view, I give up my right to be right, I give up forcing an outcome.

I started to look at the areas where *lhe has a loss of power, freedom and self-expression. 

I invited him to consider he has an access to make a difference, be bold, be straight, fearless to demand. The resignation and cynicism made him say no to attend Introduction last 3 months. And I continued to give up what I know.

FINALLY He agreed to attend Introduction and create his participation.

I m moved by his commitment and love he has for relationships, with family, peers, teachers where I have always considered him selfish. 

The point is : Enrollment and registration conservations are not about you or what you know, it's how effective you are being straight with yourself and listen for others greatness.

RESOLVING a Conflict or Upset in LIFE by kids who are Young People (8-12yrs)

I noticed my 10yr old daughter (Trisha) is upset, easily angry and confused on various occasions. My repeated reminders or instructions are not motivating her to be in action and complete the work as expected. Rather I find her irritated or resigned.

It's time for me to intrude and have a conversation to resolve her concerns.

I begin with asking her "what are your complaints with your parents and siblings, or peers and teachers?" Initially she denied that she had any complaints about anyone. When I insisted her to enquire she could share her upset with her brother and parents.

My 8yr old son (who completed Young People Landmark Forum in January 2020) was sitting beside me listening to this conversation.

He quickly got up took a pen and drew two circles on the wall. And wrote WHAT HAPPENED and STORY. 

I was amazed by the display on the wall and I continued to work with my daughter on what happened in the past and what are the stories she created. My son assisted to put the X marks in those circles appropriate on the wall.

She got that she is living in her stories and what happened is in the past and it is not happening now. She can choose to forgive and forget.

She is also Landmark Graduate. Completed the Young People Forum two years back.

Within minutes both brother and sister could resolve the differences. And she wrote on the wall 'don't make story'.

As a parent it was ONE conversation resolving conflict between kids and parents in no time. 

This is a demonstration of Landmark distinction my kids have taken on. The ease and grace to resolve any issue in relationship.

As ADULTS do you have this privilege, power or freedom? You want that!! Put yourself in the next Landmark Forum, in your city.

Landmark Education provides you tools and techniques to Live your Life with power, freedom, full self expression and peace of mind.

My son (Tanmay) registered in the Program to accomplish peace of mind. In the course he invented the possibilities of living his life being Smart and Confident.    And I can count on him.

RANJINI SANJAY

Humanity Won (ONE)

World is experiencing ONENESS as a POWER to  resolve.

Celebrate the Extraordinary Humanity on this planet.

Together we WIN being ONE.

RANJINI SANJAY